


Fugue

by vwritesaus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, heavily experimental just so you know, like... VERY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 12:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17939867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vwritesaus/pseuds/vwritesaus
Summary: Following an accident, Kuroo's mind has entered a fugue state. The only thing that is clear to him is Kenma.





	Fugue

**Author's Note:**

> Yes hello :'D This is very experimental, and if you are confused, it's fine HAHA
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy~

                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                Hope.

                                                                Hope.

                                                Hope.

                                Hope.

                Hope.

                                Hope.

                                                Hope.

                                                                Hope.

                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                                Hope.

                                                                                                                Hope.

 

...

 

What was this word that kept going around in his head?

 

_Hope._

_Gotta have hope._

_Hang in there, buddy._

_We gotta have hope that he's gonna be okay._

 

                Voices...

                Who were these voices?

                What were these voices?

 

...

 

Hope.

                A noun.

                                /a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen/

                                                                                                                                                But also a verb.

                                                                                /want something to happen or be the case/

                                                So which one was it?

                A noun? A verb?

                                                Or both?

 

                Kuroo Tetsurou had never been so confused in all his twenty-three years of life.

 

 

He was ten years old.

                There was a playground. Swings, a slide, a seesaw, monkey bars, even a cubby house; all of them were painted in bright colours, mostly yellow, red and blue. There were other kids running about, from six to ten—maybe some who were older, he didn’t know—but his eyes settled on a small boy in the distance, hanging out by the silver benches. Kuroo found himself gravitating towards him, until he was standing right in front of him.

                Golden eyes lifted to meet his, and they crinkled at the corners as a small smile graced the boy’s mouth.

                ‘Hi.’

                ‘Hey, Kenma!’ His voice was pitchy, but loud and confident. ‘Wanna play?’

                Kenma nodded, his black hair dancing above his eyes.

                ‘Okay, Tetsu.’

                Tetsu. He always called him Tetsu, but he was still young—only nine, a whole year younger than Kuroo—and he had the slightest lisp. So “Tetsu” often came out as “Tethsu”, with Kenma’s pink tongue between his teeth. Kuroo found it so cute that he couldn’t help but grin every time he heard it.

                They always played together at recess or lunch, always in their own little worlds with a blue and yellow spiralled ball floating between them. Kenma usually complained that he was tired, or not very good at getting the ball, but Kuroo would have none of that.

                He’d do anything to see a smile on Kenma’s cute, chubby-cheeked face.

 

 

_Tetsu._

_Tetsu…_

 

 

When the new school year started, with Kenma coming into junior high as a freshman, Kuroo’s first introduction to him had been the change in his voice. He hadn’t seen Kenma all summer, because he and his parents had gone on a trip out of Tokyo, leaving Kuroo bored and friendless for the entire break.

                Now that school was back in full swing and Kenma was now in a new, crisp uniform, the only thing that Kuroo could focus on was the soft, ‘Tetsu,’ that reached his ears.

                But it came out as “Tetsu”.

                Kenma’s voice had gone slightly deeper, too, which had happened to Kuroo nearly a year ago. But hearing that tone come from Kenma’s mouth shook Kuroo’s core like nothing else had. He was no longer a little boy who Kuroo needed to protect. This Kenma seemed like he could take care of himself—but something in Kuroo told him that, regardless of that, he was still meant to be Kenma’s shield.

                His hair had grown longer, too. It was now brushing his jaw, ends tapered, much finer than they used to be. Kuroo found himself resisting the sudden urge to brush aside that hair and trace the length of his soft jawline—no longer bordered with chubby cheeks, Kuroo was sad to note—choosing to ignore the sudden leap his heart had just done upon looking at his best friend.

                So in an attempt to fight off the urge, he took Kenma’s hand, declared loudly that he was going to show him around, and started pulling him in the direction of the quadrangle.

 

 

The light filtering through the leaves danced across Kenma’s face, highlighting his blushed cheeks with delicate, shimmering spots. His eyes were round, gaping at Kuroo as his fingers went to his mouth.

                Kuroo’s heart was in his throat. His lips tingled and his body had a warmth that seeped through every nook and cranny, one that went right down to every single nerve ending. His hands trembled and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

                For what was meant to be an experiment, Kuroo ended up liking it _far_ more than he should have. He also wanted to do it again, so he shoved aside his restlessness, gently brushed the soft line of Kenma’s jaw, and planted another soft kiss against his lips.

                It had been a last minute decision to try kissing for the first time, but thankfully they had found the shade of a huge tree on the outskirts of the school grounds. They had seen everyone do it, especially the high schoolers from that school down the road, and Kuroo had gotten several confessions from girls that he just couldn’t accept. Kenma as well.

                But there was more to the kissing than just the act itself. Kuroo had made the offhand comment that he wouldn’t mind if he dated a boy one day. Kenma had challenged him.

                ‘How do you know if you haven’t tried?’

                Kuroo had glanced at him and said, ‘Well, I can try now. With you. If you want.’

                So that was how they ended up here, Kenma’s back against the trunk of the tree, Kuroo’s hands clasped awkwardly behind his back—because he didn’t know _where_ to put them—and their mouths pressed together.

                They were quick, gentle kisses, but they nevertheless made Kuroo’s heart stutter, his stomach twist and his cheeks go incredibly hot.

                When they parted, there was a moment’s pause. Stunned. Confused. More questions arising than there had been before.

                What did it mean? Did he like Kenma? Did he just like kissing? Was it both? Was it neither? Kuroo had no clue.

                But it was Kenma who broke the silence.

                ‘So…’ he began, voice small. ‘Do you like boys?’

                Kuroo swallowed. ‘Do you?’

                Rolling his eyes—no doubt at Kuroo answering his question with another question—Kenma nodded.

                ‘I think so. But do _you?_ ’

                Kuroo licked his lips.

                ‘Yeah.’

                What he didn’t say was that he didn’t like _all_ boys. He liked only one.

 

 

_I love you._

 

 

It had become more than just an instance of _like_. He was seventeen, and it all had gone on for long enough.

                He was surprised, though, when Kenma slammed him against his bedroom wall, eyes flaring and mouth in a thin line. Kenma was never violent, but the ache along his spine told Kuroo otherwise.

                Yes, perhaps Kuroo hadn’t gone about it in the right way after all. Perhaps he shouldn’t have stated bluntly that he didn’t like Kenma being touchy with other guys—or anyone, in fact, who wasn’t _him_ , but not that he said that bit out loud. But the implication was there, and Kenma was the best at picking up on those implications.

                Which was why Kenma looking _pissed off_ confused Kuroo. He thought the implication of him _wanting_ to be with _Kenma_ was obvious. But then his skin went cold. Oh god. What if Kenma didn’t want to be with _him?_

                He didn’t have to ponder on that thought when, suddenly, Kenma’s face was _very_ close to his.

                ‘Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do, Kuroo?’ Kenma asked softly but sharply, and Kuroo winced at the use of his surname.

                Ouch. That hurt far more than he thought it would.

                But he steeled himself and stared down at Kenma.

                ‘I’m not telling you what to do, Kenma,’ he rebutted, ‘I’m just saying I don’t like it. There’s a difference.’

                ‘And? Why should I care?’

                There was something different in Kenma’s voice then. It wasn’t as harsh, and it was almost… intrigued. Hesitant, edging upon another unasked question. One that very well could have been why does it _matter_?

                Kuroo decided to throw caution to the wind. He wouldn’t get another opportunity like this, so he cupped Kenma’s face in his palms and whispered, ‘Because I love you, and I want you for myself.’

                If it hadn’t been such a serious situation, Kuroo would have laughed at the absolutely stunned look on Kenma’s face. But his stomach was crawling up his chest, his fingers shook slightly against the skin of Kenma’s cheeks, and he wanted the ground to swallow him up with each silent second that went by.

                But then Kenma scoffed gently, said, ‘You’re so stupid, I swear,’ before leaning up and kissing Kuroo harshly, firmly, confidently.

                Kuroo didn’t manage to get another word in for Kenma took control very quickly—another surprise—but with the way Kenma’s thumbs caressed his cheekbones, the way his lips worked with his, the way he brought Kuroo closer and closer to him, Kuroo didn’t care about talking. Kenma kissing him was talking enough.

                Kenma kissing him was him saying, ‘I love you, too.’

 

 

_Hey._

 

 

                ‘Kenma, baby, will you—’

 

                                                                                                                                                                                   with a soft, gentle touch

                               

                                                                                                                all he needed was to see him smile and everything would be

 

                                                                boyfriend?

                                                                boyfriend.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                a gasp filled the

 

squealing—

                loud—

                                a bomb?

 

_Oh my god_

_Tetsu_

_Tetsurou_

 

                                                                                                                                                                                a crack on the surface

 

                                                                                golden eye…s…

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                Pleas...e… do...n…

 

w…a…il…i…

 

 

_lo—ou—_

 

...

 

What happened?

Where am I?

Why is it black in here?

Why can’t I see?

 

...

 

hOPe

 

 

It was dark. There was noise around him… A beeping?

_Beep… beep… beep… beep… beep…_

                His heartbeat was loud in his ears. A bass drum was going around in circles in his head. It kinda hurt.

 _Tetsu_.

                Huh?

_Can you hear me?_

                Yeah?

_Tetsu?_

                Yeah, that’s me, right?

_He can’t hear me…_

                Yes, I can!

                Who was this voice?

                What was this voice?

                Kuroo shifted—ow—

                Why did his head hurt? His arms? His legs? Why was it hard to breathe?

                His eyes slid open.

                It was dark along the edges, but then all he saw was a face illuminated by gleaming, white halo. Golden hair, golden eyes—an angel? Wingless?

                No.

                Kenma.

                A smile. A tear.

‘Welcome back.’


End file.
